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Drummer Jokes

Drummer Jokes

Do not tell drummer jokes in front of a drummer. It may take a while, but when he understands it, he will hit you with a drumstick.


A drummer’s brain

A man was looking for a new brain so he went to a brain surgeon and told him of his problem.
The surgeon said, «I only have three brains left».
The man said: «Well what’s the cheapest?»
The surgeon said: «I have a doctor’s brain for cheap.»
The man said: «We’ll that’s great, what else do you have?»
The surgeon said «I also have the brain of a rocket scientist, but that’s just a little more pricy.»
The man replied: «Wow if you have the brain of a rocket scientist, the last one must be really smart.»
The surgeon said: «The most expensive one I have, is a drummer’s brain.»
The man said: «Why is a drummer’s brain so expensive?»
The surgeon replied: «We’ll because it has never been used before.»

The bragging

A bass player and a guitarist were seated next to a drummer on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.
«Last night I made love to my wife four times,» the bass player bragged, «and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me.»
«Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times,» the guitarist responded, «and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man.»
When the drummer remained silent, the guitarist smugly asked, «And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?»
«Once,» he replied.
«Only once?» the bass player arrogantly snorted. «And what did she say to you this morning?»
«Don’t stop,» the drummer replied.

My Song

What’s the last thing a drummer says before he’s thrown out of the band?
«Let’s play one of MY songs»

Annoying Drums

This guy goes on vacation to a tropical island.
As soon as he gets off the plane, he hears drums. He thinks “Wow, this is cool”.
He goes to the beach, he hears the drums, he eats lunch, he hears drums, he goes to a luau, he hears drums. He tries to go to sleep, yet he hears drums.
This goes on for several nights, and gets to the point where the guy can’t sleep at night because of the drums. Finally, he goes down to the front desk.
When he gets there, he asks the manager, «Hey! What’s with these drums. Don’t they ever stop? I can’t get any sleep.»
The manager says, «No! Drums must never stop. It’s very bad if drums stop.»
«Why?»
«When drums stop…bass solo begins.»

Drumsticks

A guy wanted to play bass in a band.
The band told him, «Okay, but you will have to have 1/3 of your brain removed.»
So the guy went into surgery. When he woke up, the doctor said, «I’m terribly sorry, but we made a mistake and accidentally removed 3/4’s of your brain!»
The guy said, «Uh, that’s okay. Got some sticks?»


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