30 Jokes about ice cream

Here are 30 funny Jokes about ice cream that are clean and kid friendly. You’ll also smile at some ice cream and sundae puns and Little Johnny and knock knock ice cream jokes.

knock knock jokes

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Ice Cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream every time I see a ghost!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you don’t let me in!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Banana who?
Banana split so ice creamed!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Ice cream soda.
Ice cream soda who?
Ice cream soda people can hear me!

Sundae puns

Where do you learn to make ice cream dishes?
Sundae School.

The ice cream parlor asks for my order
Parlor: “Hello Sir, can I take your order?”
Me: “Yes, I’d like a male hot fudge sundae please.”
Parlor: “I’m sorry Sir, a male hot fudge sundae?”
Me: “Yes, with nuts”.

What is a slow moving ice cream truck called?
A sundae driver.

When does Oliver Stone eat ice cream?
Any Given Sundae.

Why did the ice-cream truck leave early?
To get there by sundae!

Little Johnny ice cream jokes

Little Johnny rushes home from school. He invades the fridge and is scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream when his mother enters the kitchen. She says, “Put that away Johnny! You can’t have ice cream now. It’s too close to supper time. Go outside and play.”
Johnny whimpers and says, «There’s no one to play with.»
Trying to placate him, she says, «OK, I’ll play with you. What do you want to play?»
He says, «I wanna play Mommie and Daddy.»
The mother was a little surprised but says «Fine, I’ll play».
Little Johnny swaggers down the hall and opens the utility closet. He dons his father’s old fishing hat. As he starts walking back he notices a cigarette butt in the ashtray on the end table. He picks it up and slips it in the corner of his mouth.
His mother says, «Well, what do I do?»
In a gruff manner, Johnny says, «Now get you butt in the kitchen and get that kid some ice cream!»

Little Johnny walks into an ice-cream parlor and asks for 12 scoops of ice cream.
In disbelief the cashier asked him to repeat his order.
«I want 12 scoops of ice cream sir.»
Not passing this huge order up the cashier went to work making sure the scoops were evenly balanced and could not tip over.
But before handing it over to him he asked LIttle Johnny boy a question:
«Why did you want so many scoops of ice cream?»

«Well if you had what I had you would order the exact same thing.»
The cashier hands him the cone but he’s a little confused and asked a another question:
«And what is it that you have that I don’t?»
The boy looked him in the eyes with a smirk on his face and said:
«Only two dollars in change» and ran out of the parlor.

Ice cream puns

What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.

Got an ice cream for my girlfriend
Best trade i ever made.

What do you call a street full of potholes and ice cream?
Rocky Road

The ice cream scooper got chocolate ice cream in my vanilla ice cream.
That’s a twist.

Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
Because he’s cool.

Why is ice cream so bad at tennis?
They have a soft serve.

What’s an electrician’s favorite ice cream flavor?
Shock a lot.

What does an ice cream lawyer say?
You got served.

Why do news reporters hang out at the ice-cream shop?
Because they are always looking for a scoop!

Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
In case there is a chance of sprinkles!

Funny jokes about ice cream

NOT a Joke about ice cream
There are two types of people in this world: People who love ice cream and liars.

An old man walked into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself gently, painfully, up onto a stool…
After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, «Crushed nuts?»
«No,» he replied, «Arthritis.»

Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 40% of their ice cream.

A boy walks into an ice cream shop and asks the attendant
«Do you have pea ice cream?»
«No» he replies.
After a week the same kid goes back to the ice cream shop and asks: «Do you have pea ice cream?»
«No» he replies. «That’s ridiculous.»
After a few days, the same boy walks into the shop and asks the same question, getting the same answer.
«I’ll fulfill this boy’s wish» the attendant says after the he leaves. «I’ll make a pea ice cream.»
A week later the same boy returns to the ice cream shop and asks: «Do you have pea ice cream?»
«Yes» the attendant replies
«Wow» says the kid «That’s nasty»

A young man entered the Ice Cream Shop at the amusement park and asked, «What kinds of ice cream do you have?»
«Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry,» the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue.
«Do you have laryngitis?» the young man asked sympathetically.
«Nope,» she whispered, «just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.»

I asked my girlfriend if she’d like a day of eating ice cream and hanging with her girl friends.
She said «Yes!».
I said «Good, because I’m breaking up with you.»

Guy walks into an ice cream shop and says: «give me some chocolate, some marshmallows, and some almonds».
The elderly gentleman working the counter says «Careful son, you’re heading down a rocky road.»

A man approaches an ice cream van and asks, «I’d like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please.»
The girl behind the counter replied, «I’m very sorry, sir, but our delivery didn’t come this morning. We’re out of chocolate.»
«In that case,» the man continued, «I’ll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream.»
«You don’t understand, sir,» the girl says. «We have no chocolate.»
«Then just give me some chocolate,» he insists.
Getting angrier by the second, the girl asked, «Sir, will you spell ‘van,’ as in ‘vanilla?’»
The man spells, “V A N.”
«Now spell ‘straw,’ as in ‘strawberry.’»
«OK. S-T-R-A-W.»
«Now,» the girl asked, «spell ‘stink,’ as in chocolate.»
The man hesitates, then confused, replied, «There is no stink in chocolate.»
«That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!» she screams.

Have you read these funny jokes?
Dad Jokes
or the extremely funny psychiatrist joke about the two twin boys:
optimist vs pessimist

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