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Dog Jokes

Dog image

Hey dog lovers. We have collected some funny jokes about dogs that will have you rolling on the floor. Woof woof.


K-9

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking and I saw a little boy staring in at me.
«Is that a dog you got back there?» he asked.
«It sure is,» I replied.
Puzzled the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.
Finally he said, «What did he do?»

Expensive dog

Two men are talking about animals.
One says to the other: «I know of a dog who is worth 10.000$».
«Really» replies the other. «Who would have though a dog could save so much».

The dog in the bar

A dog walks into a bar and hops up on a stool. He looks the bartender straight in the eye and says: «Hey, guess what? I can talk. Have you ever seen a talking dog before? Amazing right? What about a drink?»
The bartender thinks for a moment and says: «Sure the toilets are right around the corner».

Hot Dog
Why was the dog sweating so much?
She was a hot dog!

Beware of the dog!

On the door of a general store, a customer noticed the sign reading, «Danger! Beware of the dog!»
He carefully entered the store, but once inside all he saw was a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.
He asked the store manager: «Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?»
«Yep, that’s him» he replied.
The stranger could not help but amused.
«That certainly does not look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?»
«Because,» the owner replied, «before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him».

The cross-eyed dog

A man takes his BULLDOG to the vet and says: «my dog is cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?»
The vet thinks for few seconds and says, «Well, let’s have a look at him».
The vet picks the dog up while examining his eyes. At long last, he says, «I am going to have to put him down».
«What? Just because he is cross-eyed?»
«No because he is really, really heavy».

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while.
«I can hardly believe my eyes!» he exclaimed. «That’s the smartest dog I have ever seen»
«Nah, he is not so smart,» the friend replied.
«I have beaten him three games out of five».

A few short dog jokes

Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang.

Who delivers Christmas presents to dogs?
Santa paws!

What kinds of stores do dogs love the most?
Re-tail stores!

Why did the snowman name his dog “Frost”?
Because “Frost” bites!

What dog keeps the best time?
A watch dog!

Which dog breed is guaranteed to laugh at all of your jokes?
A Chi-ha-ha!


Want to laugh som more. Read these funny jokes for teens or maybe some Halloween jokes for kids.