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The doctor says<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
One day the happy couple Jay and Marie walked down the forest when suddenly a giant snake jumped on Jay’s leg and bit his private parts. Girlfriend: Wanna see a magic trick? I’ll give up my morning cereal to spoon you instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now, what’s on the menu? Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, the rest of the world disappears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Q: How can you tell if your boyfriend is happy? If I freeze, it’s not a computer virus. I was just stunned by your beauty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Q: What do you call a man-made out of garbage? Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Q: Why do only 10 percent of boyfriends make it to heaven? Girl: \u00abHow many letters are in the alphabet?\u00bb<\/em> Hey, do you happen to have a Bandaid? I scraped my knee up pretty bad when I fell for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Need a gift for your boyfriend? Check out these: Perfect Boyfriend Gifts<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n Q: How do boyfriends exercise on the beach? Roses are red A woman decided to break off her recent engagement, and her friend said, \u00abwhat happened? I thought it was love at first sight!\u00bb<\/em> Aside from taking my breath away, what do you do for a living?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I’m sorry I wasn’t part of your past. Can I make it up by being in your future?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I think there’s something wrong with my eyes. I can’t take them off of you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Life without you is like a broken pencil\u2026 pointless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n How did the telephone propose to its girlfriend? He gave her a ring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll return it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner, where the conversation turned to the subject of marriage. I was in the shop looking for a jacket to buy my boyfriend as a present. Can I tie your shoes? Cause I don’t want you to fall for someone else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection<\/p>\n\n\n\n You are like dandruff because I cannot get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Was that an earthquake, or did you just rock my world?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Girlfriend: \u00abI Have 2 words to tell you.\u00bb<\/em> At a restaurant one night, the man at the next table was pulling out all the stops to impress his underwhelmed date. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?<\/p>\n\n\n\n You are like my asthma. You just take my breath away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Do you have a date for valentine’s Day? Yes, it is February 14th.<\/p>\n\n\n\n HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN Q: What’s the difference between love and marriage? You must have the power to change gravity because you knocked me off my feet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A man wanted Valentine’s Day to be special, so he bought a bottle of absinthe and stopped by the florist’s to order a bouquet of his wife’s favorite flower: white anemones. Need a gift for your boyfriend? Check out these: Perfect Boyfriend Gifts<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n Send me a picture so I can show Santa my wish list.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I hope you enjoyed these jokes to tell your boyfriend<\/strong>. I think you would also like to read Love Quotes<\/a> or Long distance relationship quotes<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Since no one was around for miles, Marie called a hospital and told the doctor: \u00abQuick, Quick; I need your help. My boyfriend got bit by a snake.\u00bb.
The doctor told her: “Maam, your gonna have to suck the venom out yourself.\u00bb
Marie asked: \u00abPlease, doctor; There has to be another way to get rid of the venom.\u00bb
The doctor says: \u00abSorry, there’s nothing we can do.\u00bb
So Marie goes running to her boyfriend.
When she gets there, Jay says with pain: \u00abSo what did the doctor say?\u00bb<\/em>
Marie says: \u00abDoctor said your gonna die\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Boyfriend: Sure, babe.
Girlfriend: BAM! You’re single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nJokes to tell your boyfriend over text<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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we’d sure make a great pair.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
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Me-n-u<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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A: Who cares?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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A: Your ex-boyfriend!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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A: Because if they all went, it would be called hell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Boy: \u00ab26.\u00bb<\/em>
Girl: \u00abI thought there was 21?\u00bb<\/em>
Boy: \u00abNo?\u00bb<\/em>
Girl: \u00abOh, I must have forgotten the letters U R A Q T.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
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A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Violets are blue
Love never crossed my mind
Until I came across you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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To which the woman replied, \u00abbut the second and third ones changed my mind.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
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\n\n\n\nThe engagement ring<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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<\/picture><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer.
Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead.
During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring.
Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: \u00abWell, don’t you have something to ask me?\u00bb<\/em>
Dave then got down on bended knee.
\u00abHoney,\u00bb<\/em> he said, \u00abWill you buy me a new computer?\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
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I couldn’t decide which one to get, so I asked the saleswoman: \u00abIf you were buying a jacket for your boyfriend, which one would you get?\u00bb<\/em>
She said: \u00abI’m married, so a bulletproof one.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Boyfriend: \u00abWhat?\u00bb<\/em>
Girlfriend: \u00abI love you.\u00bb<\/em>
Boyfriend: \u00abIsn’t that 3?\u00bb<\/em>
Girlfriend: \u00abNo, because You and I count as one.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
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He crowned a lengthy list of lifetime achievements by stating, \u00abAt least I can say I have been a Hollywood movie producer.\u00bb<\/em>
The woman nodded. \u00abI’ll make a note of that: ‘has-been movie producer ”.\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Arrive naked\u2026 with beer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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A: Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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\n\n\n\nA bouquet for his wife<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Unfortunately, the florist was sold out of flowers and had only a few stems of feathery ferns.
The man asked the florist to make a bouquet out of the ferns and the flask of liquor.
He added a card and proceeded home.
After a romantic candlelight dinner, he presented his wife with the gift.
She opened the card to read,” Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.”
With a tear in her eye, she whispered to him lovingly,” Yes, and with fronds like these, who needs anemones.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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