Generally inoffensive, dad jokes are stereotypically told by fathers among family, either with sincere humorous intent, or to intentionally provoke a negative reaction to its overly-simplistic humor.
Many dad jokes may be considered anti-jokes, deriving humor from an intentionally unfunny punchline.
An example dad jokes goes as follows: A child will say to the father, \u00abI’m hungry,\u00bb<\/em> to which the father will reply, \u00abHi, Hungry, I’m Dad.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
We have a lot of dad jokes in many categories. Although dad jokes are normally a one-liner joke, we have a few that are a bit longer. – Because all the fathers out there deserve it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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<\/picture>What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A slice of pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The 10 best dad jokes<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
My daughter yelled at me, “Dad, you haven’t listened to one word I’ve said, have you!?” What a strange way to start a conversation with me\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
KID: \u00abHey, I was thinking\u2026\u00bb<\/em> \u00abI\u2019ll call you later!\u00bb<\/em> Today, my son asked \u00abCan I have a book mark?\u00bb<\/em> and I burst into tears. CASHIER: \u00abWould you like the milk in a bag, sir?\u00bb<\/em> MOM: \u00abHow do I look?\u00bb<\/em> To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!<\/p>\n\n\n\n NURSE: \u00abBlood type?\u00bb<\/em> I told my 14 year old son I thought ‘Fortnite’ was a stupid name for a computer game. I think it is just too weak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I ordered both a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I\u2019ll let you know…<\/p>\n\n\n\n The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers. Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind… it’s tearable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!<\/p>\n\n\n\n My friend keeps saying “cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.” I know he means well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent!<\/p>\n\n\n\n My dad told me it was time to hit the sack, so I kicked him in the balls.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you rearrange the letters of \u201cPostmen\u201d. They get really pissed off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don\u2019t know why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket\u2026 You can hide but you can’t run.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: \u201cDoes this taste funny to you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Last christmas I worked as a lumberjack. I know that I cut exactly 417 christmas trees. I know because every time I cut one, I kept a log.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What\u2019s the best Christmas present? A couple is walking through St. Petersburg Square in Russia on Christmas Eve when they start to feel something wet fall upon their faces. What do snowmen like to do at the weekend? Why does Snoop Dog love giving gifts? He\u2019s really good at wrapping!<\/p>\n\n\n\n How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Which body part do you only see at Christmas? The Mistle-toe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The secret service isn’t allowed to yell \u00abGet down!\u00bb<\/em> anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell \u00abDonald, duck!\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!<\/p>\n\n\n\n “I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!<\/p>\n\n\n\n I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson\u2026 He said, \u201cBut dad, your name is Brian.\u201d I said, \u201cI know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut.<\/p>\n\n\n\n How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.<\/p>\n\n\n\n How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What did the fried rice say to the shrimp? Don’t wok away from me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3 unwritten rules of life\u2026 Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Two dads are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Have you read these funny jokes?
DAD: \u00abI thought I smelled something burning.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
– \u00abPlease don\u2019t do that. I\u2019ve always asked you to call me Dad!\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
DAD: \u00abNo, just leave it in the carton!\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
DAD: \u00abWith your eyes.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
DAD: \u00abRed.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nFunny dad jokes for adults<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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\u00abYes,\u00bb<\/em> he said. \u00abMy father taught me.\u00bb<\/em>
\u00abGood. What comes after three?\u00bb<\/em>
\u00abFour,\u00bb<\/em> answered the boy.
\u00abWhat comes after six?\u00bb<\/em>
\u00abSeven.\u00bb<\/em>
\u00abVery good,\u00bb<\/em> said the teacher. \u00abYour dad did a good job. And what comes after 10?\u00bb<\/em>
\u00abJack.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nDad jokes for christmas<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
– A broken drum \u2013 you just can\u2019t beat it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00abI think it\u2019s raining,\u00bb<\/em> says the husband.
\u00abNo, it\u2019s snowing,\u00bb<\/em> replies the wife.
\u00abHow about we ask this Communist officer here? He\u2019s always right!\u00bb<\/em> the husband insists.
\u00abOfficer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?\u00bb<\/em>
\u00abDefinitely raining,\u00bb<\/em> Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.
The man turns to his wife with a smile, \u00abSee? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Just chill out.<\/p>\n\n\n\nDad jokes for kids<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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<\/picture>Bad dad jokes<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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The blonde and the lawyer<\/a>
The world\u2019s funniest jokes<\/a>
Electrician joke<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"