Johnny whimpers and says, \u00abThere\u2019s no one to play with.\u00bb<\/em>
Trying to placate him, she says, \u00abOK, I\u2019ll play with you. What do you want to play?\u00bb<\/em>
He says, \u00abI wanna play Mommie and Daddy.\u00bb<\/em>
The mother was a little surprised but says \u00abFine, I\u2019ll play\u00bb<\/em>.
Little Johnny swaggers down the hall and opens the utility closet. He dons his father\u2019s old fishing hat. As he starts walking back he notices a cigarette butt in the ashtray on the end table. He picks it up and slips it in the corner of his mouth.
His mother says, \u00abWell, what do I do?\u00bb<\/em>
In a gruff manner, Johnny says, \u00abNow get you butt in the kitchen and get that kid some ice cream!\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Little Johnny walks into an ice-cream parlor and asks for 12 scoops of ice cream. What is ice cream\u2019s favorite TV show? Got an ice cream for my girlfriend What do you call a street full of potholes and ice cream? The ice cream scooper got chocolate ice cream in my vanilla ice cream. Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party? Why is ice cream so bad at tennis? What\u2019s an electrician\u2019s favorite ice cream flavor? What does an ice cream lawyer say? Why do news reporters hang out at the ice-cream shop? Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella? An old man walked into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself gently, painfully, up onto a stool\u2026 Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 40% of their ice cream.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A boy walks into an ice cream shop and asks the attendant A young man entered the Ice Cream Shop at the amusement park and asked, \u00abWhat kinds of ice cream do you have?\u00bb<\/em> I asked my girlfriend if she’d like a day of eating ice cream and hanging with her girl friends. Guy walks into an ice cream shop and says: \u00abgive me some chocolate, some marshmallows, and some almonds\u00bb<\/em>. A man approaches an ice cream van and asks, \u00abI’d like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please.\u00bb<\/em> Have you read these funny jokes<\/strong>?
In disbelief the cashier asked him to repeat his order.
\u00abI want 12 scoops of ice cream sir.\u00bb<\/em>
Not passing this huge order up the cashier went to work making sure the scoops were evenly balanced and could not tip over.
But before handing it over to him he asked LIttle Johnny boy a question:
\u00abWhy did you want so many scoops of ice cream?\u00bb<\/em>
\u00abWell if you had what I had you would order the exact same thing.\u00bb<\/em>
The cashier hands him the cone but he\u2019s a little confused and asked a another question:
\u00abAnd what is it that you have that I don\u2019t?\u00bb<\/em>
The boy looked him in the eyes with a smirk on his face and said:
\u00abOnly two dollars in change\u00bb<\/em> and ran out of the parlor.<\/p>\n\n\n\nIce cream puns<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Game of Cones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Best trade i ever made.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rocky Road<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s a twist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because he’s cool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They have a soft serve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Shock a lot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You got served.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because they are always looking for a scoop!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In case there is a chance of sprinkles!<\/p>\n\n\n\nFunny jokes about ice cream<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"NOT](\"https:\/\/jokes-and-riddles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Jokes-about-ice-cream-683x1024.webp)
<\/picture>
There are two types of people in this world: People who love ice cream and liars.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, \u00abCrushed nuts?\u00bb<\/em>
\u00abNo,\u00bb<\/em> he replied, \u00abArthritis.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00abDo you have pea ice cream?\u00bb<\/em>
\u00abNo\u00bb<\/em> he replies.
After a week the same kid goes back to the ice cream shop and asks: \u00abDo you have pea ice cream?\u00bb<\/em>
\u00abNo\u00bb<\/em> he replies. \u00abThat’s ridiculous.\u00bb<\/em>
After a few days, the same boy walks into the shop and asks the same question, getting the same answer.
\u00abI’ll fulfill this boy’s wish\u00bb<\/em> the attendant says after the he leaves. \u00abI’ll make a pea ice cream.\u00bb<\/em>
A week later the same boy returns to the ice cream shop and asks: \u00abDo you have pea ice cream?\u00bb<\/em>
\u00abYes\u00bb<\/em> the attendant replies
\u00abWow\u00bb<\/em> says the kid \u00abThat’s nasty\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00abVanilla, chocolate, strawberry,\u00bb<\/em> the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue.
\u00abDo you have laryngitis?\u00bb<\/em> the young man asked sympathetically.
\u00abNope,\u00bb<\/em> she whispered, \u00abjust vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
She said \u00abYes!\u00bb<\/em>.
I said \u00abGood, because I’m breaking up with you.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
The elderly gentleman working the counter says \u00abCareful son, you\u2019re heading down a rocky road.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
The girl behind the counter replied, \u00abI’m very sorry, sir, but our delivery didn’t come this morning. We’re out of chocolate.\u00bb<\/em>
\u00abIn that case,\u00bb<\/em> the man continued, \u00abI’ll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream.\u00bb<\/em>
\u00abYou don’t understand, sir,\u00bb<\/em> the girl says. \u00abWe have no chocolate.\u00bb<\/em>
\u00abThen just give me some chocolate,\u00bb<\/em> he insists.
Getting angrier by the second, the girl asked, \u00abSir, will you spell ‘van,’ as in ‘vanilla?’\u00bb<\/em>
The man spells, “V A N.”
\u00abNow spell ‘straw,’ as in ‘strawberry.’\u00bb<\/em>
\u00abOK. S-T-R-A-W.\u00bb<\/em>
\u00abNow,\u00bb<\/em> the girl asked, \u00abspell ‘stink,’ as in chocolate.\u00bb<\/em>
The man hesitates, then confused, replied, \u00abThere is no stink in chocolate.\u00bb<\/em>
\u00abThat’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!\u00bb<\/em> she screams.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\n
Dad Jokes<\/a>
or the extremely funny psychiatrist joke about the two twin boys:
optimist vs pessimist<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"