He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.
\u00abLook!\u00bb<\/em> she said. \u00abJust get me something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me.\u00bb<\/em>
So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Birthday Surprise<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
A man gets up and heads off to work despondent that not one member of his family has wished him Happy Birthday. What an ungrateful lot he thinks. A man gives his wife an expensive bottle of wine for her birthday. Man wakes up and says nothing. Wife annoyed, shouts, \u00abYou\u2019ve forgotten what day it is haven\u2019t you.\u00bb<\/em> Man to wife, \u00abBlow out your candles and make a wish\u00bb.<\/em> It\u2019s my wife\u2019s birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present. Every year on my birthday, I looked forward to my aunt’s gift. A scarf, hat, or sweater knitted by hand. One year, she must have had better things to do because I received a ball of yarn, knitting needles, and a how-to-knit book. Her card read “Scarf – Some assembly required.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember\u2026You can always change your birthday on Facebook!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Did you like these birthday jokes? If you want to read laugh some more, you really have to read these Dad Jokes <\/a>and Jokes to tell your boyfriend<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
When he gets to work his attractive secretary asks him what\u2019s wrong and he explains.
\u00abWhy don\u2019t I take you out to lunch to cheer you up,\u00bb<\/em> she says.
After a lovely lunch and a couple of glasses of champagne, she says \u00abdo you mind if we drop into my apartment on the way home?\u00bb<\/em>
Interested, he replies, \u00abSure!\u00bb<\/em>
At her apartment she smiles, fixes him a drink, and then says, \u00abI just have to slip into the bedroom for a minute.\u00bb<\/em>
In a moment she\u2019s back with a birthday cake, his family and all his friends.
And there\u2019s him lying naked on the couch<\/p>\n\n\n\nWine<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
After a few glasses the wife blurts out, \u00abI love you\u00bb<\/em>.
The husband responds: \u00abIs that you or the wine talking?\u00bb<\/em>
Wife: \u00abIt’s me, I\u2019m talking to the wine\u00bb<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\nAnnoyed Wife<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Man goes to work and confides to a colleague, \u00abI think I forgot my wife\u2019s birthday.\u00bb<\/em>
\u00abNot a problem,\u00bb<\/em> he replies. \u00abJust go out and buy her a beautiful new dress and a pearl necklace.\u00bb<\/em>
After work the man races home and showers his wife with gifts.
\u00abOh darling,\u00bb<\/em> she replies, \u00abwhat a beautiful new outfit to pick my mother up from the airport in.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"Image](\"https:\/\/jokes-and-riddles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Birthday-Joke-I-Scream-Cake-1024x576.webp)
<\/picture>
An “I scream” cake<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nMake A Wish<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
The wife does but a look of disappointment crosses her face.
\u00abWhat\u2019s the matter,\u00bb<\/em> he asks.
\u00abMy wish didn\u2019t work.\u00bb<\/em> she replies.
\u00abHow do you know already?\u00bb<\/em> he enquires.
\u00abYou\u2019re still here.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nAnother Birthday Gift<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\u00abOh, I don\u2019t know\u00bb<\/em>, she said. \u00abJust give me something with diamonds\u00bb.<\/em>
That\u2019s why I\u2019m giving her a pack of playing cards.<\/p>\n\n\n\nUnique Gift<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Facebook Birthday<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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