{"id":996,"date":"2020-04-21T15:03:49","date_gmt":"2020-04-21T15:03:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jokes-and-riddles.com\/?p=996"},"modified":"2020-11-16T09:24:18","modified_gmt":"2020-11-16T09:24:18","slug":"funny-jokes-for-adults","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jokes-and-riddles.com\/jokes\/adult-jokes\/funny-jokes-for-adults\/","title":{"rendered":"Funny jokes for adults"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
3 short funny jokes for adults and 7 longer stories.
All the adult jokes is clean and suitable for the whole family.
Here you have jokes about wife, doctors, lawyers and of course a blond and a readhead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument over breakfast one morning. Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words? One morning Frank calls to his boss. A child asked his father, \u00abHow were people born?\u00bb<\/em> A man went to his lawyer and told him, \u00abMy neighbor owes me $1000 and he won\u2019t pay up. What should I do?\u00bb<\/em>
As things got heated, the doctor shouted at his wife, \u00abYou aren\u2019t so good in bed either!\u00bb<\/em> and then he stormed out of the room and went to work.
A couple of hours later he was feeling guilty about what he\u2019d said so he decided to call his wife to apologize.
There was a long delay before she finally answered.
\u00abWhat took you so long to answer?\u00bb<\/em> asked the doctor.
\u00abI was in bed\u00bb<\/em> replied his wife.
\u00abWhat were you doing in bed at this time?\u00bb<\/em> he asked.
\u00abGetting a second opinion.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nTwo words<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nCalled in sick<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\u00abGood morning, boss. Unfortunately I’m not coming to work today. I’m really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and both my hands and legs hurt, so I’m not coming into work.\u00bb
<\/em>The boss replies: \u00abYou know Frank, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife, and tell her to give me some\u2026 “you know what”. That makes me feel much better, and I can go to work. You should try that.\u00bb<\/em>
Two hours later Frank calls:
\u00abBoss, I followed your advise, and I feel great! I’ll be at work soon. By the way, you got a nice house.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nHow are babies made?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
So his father said, \u00abAdam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.\u00bb<\/em>
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, \u00abWe were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.\u00bb<\/em>
The child ran back to his father and said, \u00abYou lied to me!\u00bb<\/em>
His father replied, \u00abNo, your mom was talking about her side of the family.\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nThe attorney at law<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\u00abDo you have any proof he owes you the money?\u00bb<\/em> asked the lawyer.
\u00abNope,\u00bb<\/em> replied the man.
\u00abOK, then write him a letter asking him for the $5000 he owed you,\u00bb<\/em> said the lawyer. \u00abBut it’s only $1000\u00bb<\/em> replied the man.
\u00abPrecisely. That\u2019s what he will reply and then you\u2019ll have your proof!\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nThe Trench warfare<\/h2>\n\n\n\n