Here are some jokes to tell your boyfriend. You tell/say them or send them over text. Some are cute and some are dirty. Hope you enjoy these funny jokes to tell your boyfriend.
There also might be some corny jokes for your bf to make him laugh.
If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
Q: How can you get your boyfriend to do some sit-ups?
A: Place the remote control for the TV between his toes!
Q: Why are Boyfriends like parking spaces?
A: The good ones are already taken!
My love for you is like dividing by zero – it cannot be defined.
The doctor says
One day the happy couple Jay and Marie were walking down the forest when suddenly a giant snake jumped on Jay’s leg and bit his private parts.
Since no one was around for miles Marie called a hospital and told the doctor: «Quick, Quick I need your help. My boyfriend got bit by a snake.».
The doctor told her: “Maam your gonna have to suck the venom out yourself».
Marie asked: «Please doctor; There has to be another way to get rid of the venom».
The doctor says: «Sorry theres nothing we can do».
So Marie goes running to her boyfriend.
When she gets there Jay says with pain: «So what did the doctor say?»
Marie says: «Doctor said your gonna die»
Girlfriend: Wanna see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure, babe.
Girlfriend: BAM! You’re single.
I’ll give up my morning cereal to spoon you instead.
Now what’s on the menu?
Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, the rest of the world disappears.
Q: How can you tell if your boyfriend is happy?
A: Who cares?
If I freeze, it’s not a computer virus. I was just stunned by your beauty.
Q: What do you call a man made out of garbage?
A: Your ex-boyfriend!
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
Q: Why do only 10 percent of boyfriends make it to heaven?
A: Because if they all went, it would be called hell.
Girl: «How many letters are in the alphabet?»
Girl: «I thought there was 21?»
Girl: «Oh, I must have forgotten the letters U R A Q T».
Hey, do you happen to have a Bandaid? I scraped my knee up pretty bad when I fell for you.
The engagement ring
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage.
Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer.
Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead.
During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring.
Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: «Well, don’t you have something to ask me?»
Dave then got down on bended knee.
«Honey,» he said, «Will you buy me a new computer?»
Q: How do boyfriends exercise on the beach?
A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini
If you and I were socks we’d sure make a great pair.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Love never crossed my mind
Until I came across you.
A woman made the decision to break off her recent engagement and her friend said, «what happened? I thought it was love at first sight!»
To which the woman replied, «but the second and third ones changed my mind.»
Aside from taking my breath away, what do you do for a living?
I’m sorry I wasn’t part of your past, can I make it up by being in your future?
I think there’s something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off of you.
Life without you is like a broken pencil… pointless.
How did the telephone propose to its girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll return it.
I was in the shop looking for a jacket to buy my boyfriend as a present.
I couldn’t decide which one to get, so I asked the sales woman: «If you were buying a jacket for your boyfriend, which one would you get?»
She said: «I’m married, so a bulletproof one.»
Can I tie your shoes? Cause I don’t want you to fall for someone else.
Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection
You are like dandruff because I just cannot get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.
Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?
Girlfriend: «I Have 2 words to tell you.»
Girlfriend: «I love you.»
Boyfriend: «Isn’t that 3?»
Girlfriend: «No, because You and I count as one.»
At a restaurant one night, the man at the next table was pulling out all the stops to impress his underwhelmed date.
He crowned a lengthy list of lifetime achievements by stating, «At least I can say I have been a Hollywood movie producer».
The woman nodded. «I’ll make a note of that: ‘has-been movie producer‘».
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
You are like my asthma. You just take my breath away.
Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day? Yes, it is February 14th.
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Arrive naked… with beer.
Q: What’s the difference between love and marriage?
A: Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener
You must have the power to change gravity because you knocked me off my feet.
A bouquet for his wife
A man wanted Valentine’s Day to be special, so he bought a bottle of absinthe and stopped by the florist’s to order a bouquet of his wife’s favorite flower: white anemones.
Unfortunately, the florist was sold out of flowers and had only a few stems of feathery ferns.
The man asked the florist to make a bouquet out of the ferns and the flask of liquor.
He added a card and proceeded home.
After a romantic candlelight dinner, he presented his wife with the gift.
She opened the card to read, “Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.”
With a tear in her eye, she whispered to him lovingly, “Yes, and with fronds like these, who needs anemones.”
Send me a picture so I can show Santa my wish list.
Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.